I usually write because I have been asked too. Rarely because I have to get something off my chest, and never because I feel like I have some great insight that the world absolutely has to hear.
When I was younger I loved the idea of keeping a diary and having some fantastically self indulgent and hormonal tale to tell, and later in life reflect fondly back upon. I lacked the level of self-discipline or indulgence required to jot anything down regularly and if I'm honest, I think my life was pretty ordinary and unworthy of a secret diary.
I have always been a huge book worm, and where I struggled to focus my thoughts into a memoir that could rival Adrian Moles, getting lost in literature was like second nature and I have binge read books from when I first began to read. Whenever I have down time I love to get lost in a book and let my imagination flourish as I bring the words that I am reading to life inside my mind. Fiction is my preferred addiction as I struggle to take the same level of enjoyment from biographies or self-help books. I want the escape and a good old story!
My mum liked to refer to my reading as ‘extreme’. Most likely because I tend to completely block out the surroundings that I am in, which leaves me unresponsive and has even led to some accidents in the past. I have had particularly addictive tales confiscated from my possession in classes at school (Harry Potter!!) and have walked into many an inanimate object whilst reading and walking to school or even reading on my paper round. One such incident resulted in me having to go to hospital for some stitches.
My personality isn’t always one that thrives in a large group and tour can be an intense environment to exist in day after day even for the most social of people. Regardless of the type of person that you are it is important that you take time for yourself each day to ‘escape’ and mentally refresh so that you have the strength required to approach each day with your best self.
Part one of the 2017 Quad Series was very much a mixed bag from an England Roses perspective. Three games, one victory and a third place finish was where we found ourselves at the conclusion of the series. Personally, I finished the series quite disappointed as I had not achieved any of the goals that I set for myself, and that those goals had been further impacted upon by falling ill whilst in Auckland.
A way for me to try and rationalise any situation that I find myself in is through having open and honest conversations with the people who have the power to help me change things. However, when this is not an option letting myself become absorbed in a book is an easy escape and usually my next best form of therapy. This tour, however, I have really struggled to empty my mind and lose myself in a literary land as I can’t seem to switch of my conscious brain.
A friend and team-mate on tour mentioned to me that they had enjoyed reading my blogs this season and that they thought I should be using the skill they perceived I had in a different way. I enjoy the process that I go through when I write and creating something that I hope is insightful for other people to read. Throughout this tour I have been jotting things down for a different purpose though with the hope of emptying my mind and trying to gain some clarity with my thought process.
I’m starting to feel a little differently about writing though and whether it be for public consumption and in a format like this blog or just for myself (and a later award-winning expose 😉) it is something that I am keen to continue to explore as we lead into the second part of our tour and Taini Jamison Trophy against New Zealand.