I have heard of those kids who beg their parents to give them a younger sibling to play with if they are an only child. There are also those children that when they do have a baby brother or sister, they like to pretend that the baby is theirs and play the role of mother or father by fussing around and helping out their parents with the baby… I was none of these children.
I vaguely remember when my mum and dad sat me down to tell me that I was going to have a baby sister, I was very unfazed, and went outside after to play in the park over the road from our house. I also remember the night that my mum went into labour and I got dropped off at a friends house in the middle of the night so that I could go to school in a couple of hours and my parents could go to the hospital. When my parents brought my sister home, I was introduced, and fairly underwhelmed at the appearance of a baby in the house. I don’t recall being jealous at all or feeling like the arrival of my baby sister was detracting from the previous eight years of all my parents undivided attention. I just carried on living my life. Years passed and I think as there was a significant age gap between us, and I had no interest in ‘mothering’ her, we just did not find much common ground.
As I have mentioned before, when my sister was eight, my parents emigrated to Canada and Keisha, went with them. Growing up, thousands of miles apart from each other I had always wondered if the years that followed would have been the ones that we would have found common ground, places where our thoughts and interests could meet and spent time establishing a stronger bond and sisterly connection like those I see around me (my aunts for one and Sasha and Kadeen Corbin, I’m definitely looking at you!). I obviously love my sister, and have visited Canada over the years since they have been gone, but our relationship was never able to fast track and it was always so surprising to me to discover on each visit how very different we both are.
Towards the end of last season, a few months before I was due to head back to England, my sister sent me a screenshot showing that she had been granted a working holiday visa to come to Australia for a year! I was super shocked, as she is a massive home bird, but also incredibly enthused at the idea of getting to spend some quality time with her when she had finished her initial travels around. Also, selfishly, having really struggled both mentally and physically through the previous season in Perth, the prospect of spending another year here, with family, was a very positive and exciting prospect in comparison to the thought of having to relive and survive another 2019.
After an extended ‘break’ back in England (a Fast5 competition, a test series in South Africa and Nations Cup), my sister had been in Sydney for about four months and was settling into Australian life, an apartment, a job that she enjoyed and unfortunately (for me!), a boyfriend. Although I had taken steps to put the appropriate support and plans in place to make 2020 a fulfilling and purposeful year, I was certain that it might still mean that I was in Perth ‘alone’. Alternatively, I arranged for my sister to come and spend a long weekend in Perth with me in March and we had further plans to spend a long weekend elsewhere in April. I was also comforted at the thought of being able to catch up with her at the Team Girls Cup in Sydney, as well as the times that we would fly over there during the season.
Little did any of us know, how the situation with COVID-19 would evolve and develop into the pandemic that we find ourselves in, forcing me into decisive action and my sister to be back over in Perth, permanently, just nine days after she had left from her long weekend visit.
I received a message from a family friend several days ago, who had read my last blog (Let’s Be Frank: about choices) who I hope won’t mind me sharing what she said and it made such a positive impact on me:
“Hard choices but you have each other. How many years since you got the opportunity to spend some quality time with each other as grown-ups? Yes, Keisha is a grown up regardless of if you like that idea or not… that little girl is no more. Stay safe and healthy and turn up your positivity metre. You’ll either grow into besties getting into trouble together or kill each other, but it will be memorable…”
I know that the changes, challenges and sacrifices for my sister have been huge, a complete loss of income, moving to a new state and leaving a partner is certainly something that I am well versed in. Keisha is currently self-isolating for 14days as recommended by the Australian government to allow her the possibility of taking up a farm work opportunity, should one arise, to give her the opportunity to extend her visa as she had always planned. Although we are all staying home, I know that not being able to leave the house at all is having its negative effects on her, however, she doesn’t have too long to go. I am trying my best to keep us all in a good routine, to have daily things to look forward to (look out for our daily #IsoGames on my Instagram story) and making the weeks and weekends feel different.
I am certainly incredibly grateful to have Keisha here with me, and I make sure to tell her that as often as I can and I am even more grateful for my housemate, for always just going with my flow!
Frank x
Instagram/Twitter: @StcyJyneFrancis
